


She abandoned me.

by izzy_24



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Bellarke, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 17:44:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5257748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzy_24/pseuds/izzy_24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy's thoughts after Clarke left Camp Jaha at the end of season two. It's hard, it's difficult, but he has to move on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She abandoned me.

I remember that it hurt. Thinking about them hurt. Like hell. Was it possible to feel that much pain? Was it possible to never stop thinking about those people I didn’t even know? I did something that I shouldn’t have done, but it had to be done or everything I’ve been trough would have been a waste.

_Who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things._

Yeah, that’s true. Or at least, it’s what I think it’s true. I keep telling myself that, as if saying it wouldn’t make the situation worst. But I killed. I killed women, children, men, innocent people without even blinking. And I know it was necessary, but it wasn’t right. Those people, they needed a second chance, it wasn’t their fault, but still I didn’t think about it. I just did it. People keep asking me if I am okay, and of course I have to say that I’m fine, but I’m not fine. Facing this situation is harder than I thought, everything right now is amplified and I’ve got no one to talk to, not really thought: Raven didn’t make that decision and she’s still grieving for Finn; Jasper doesn’t even want to talk to me, but of course I killed Maya practically; I can’t talk to Octavia because I don’t want her to face my problems; Murphy is nowhere to be found; and Clarke, well she doesn’t even count anymore, does she? She abandoned me when I needed her most. When WE needed each other most. We were in this together, I can’t believe she doesn’t understand that. I trusted her more than anyone and she failed me. I don’t even know if I can lead those people anymore. We’ve been rulers together, we’ve grown up together and still she didn’t think about how much we could have helped each other.

_I don’t think I will ever forgive her. Ever._

We had to fight back, We had to bare this problem together so that our people didn’t have to, we had to face it together, but she decided that it was her battle, her battle alone. But it wasn’t. I’m still here, I still see their faces every day, I’m the one facing the problem, not her. She run away, but running never solved the problem.  
I don’t think I will ever forgive her, but I’m done thinking about her and trying to understand what she’s doing. From now on, I will think only about me and my people, I will face my demons and I will be the person that I know I can be and there will be no Clarke in my life. Even though it hurts, even though it is difficult, from now on, I’ll stop wondering about Clarke’s approval. She abandoned me and now I’m abandoning her.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if Bellamy is going to feel this way, but I know that I would feel this way if what happened to Bellamy happened to me. I hope you understood my point of view and I hope you liked it.


End file.
